When you make people feel better about themselves, you also feel better about yourself.

"A library, to modify the famous metaphor of Socrates, should be the delivery room for the birth of ideas-a place where history comes to life." -- Norman Cousins

"Adversity has the effect of eliciting talents which, in prosperous circumstances, would have lain dormant." -- Horace

"Anyone who has never made a mistake has never tried anything new." -- Albert Einstein

"As I grow older, I pay less attention to what men say. I just watch what they do."

"At the end of each day, you should play back the tapes of your performance. The results should either applaud you or prod you."

"Dare to risk public criticism."

"Develop a bias for action, a sense of urgency, to get things done."

"Disgust and resolve are two of the great emotions that lead to change."

"Don't be afraid to give your best to what seemingly are small jobs. Every time you conquer one it makes you that much stronger. If you do the little jobs well, the big ones tend to take care of themselves." -- Dale Carnegie

"Don't say, 'If I could, I would.' Say, 'If I can, I will.'" -- Jim Rohn

"Duty makes us do things well, but love makes us do them beautifully."

"Evaluation of the past is the first step toward vision for the future."

"Every farmer knows that you can't sow and reap on the same day. There is a timetable for your harvest that requires both working and waiting. Patience is a small price to pay for what you will receive." -- Neil Eskelin

"Every man should periodically be compelled to listen to opinions which are infuriating to him. To hear nothing but what is pleasing to one is to make a pillow of the mind."

"Expect the best, plan for the worst, and prepare to be surprised." -- Denis Waitley

"Failure is not a single, cataclysmic event. You don't fail overnight. Instead, failure is a few errors in judgment, repeated every day." -- Jim Rohn

"Fear; if allowed free rein, would reduce all of us to trembling shadows of men, for whom only death could bring release." -- John M. Wilson

"Good people are found not changed. Recently I read a headline that said, "We don't teach people to be nice. We simply hire nice people." Wow! What a clever short cut."

"Happy the man who has broken the chains which hurt the mind, and has given up worrying, once and for all." -- Ovid

"Here's the philosophy of the rich and the poor. Poor people spend their money and invest what's left. The rich invest their money and spend what's left. Think like the rich--invest your money first, then spend what's left."

"I destroy my enemies when I make them my friends."

"I had six honest serving men - they taught me all I knew: Their names were Where and What and When and Why and How and Who."

"I not only use all the brains that I have, but all that I can borrow." -- Woodrow Wilson

"I will love the light for it shows me the way, yet I will endure the darkness for it shows me the stars." -- Og Mandino

"Internalize the 'Golden Rule' of sales that say, 'All things being equal, people will do business with, and refer business to, those people they know, like and trust.'"

"Knowledge might be power, but only when you take action." -- Richard Keeves

"Managers help people see themselves as they are; Leaders help people to see themselves better than they are."

"Many of life's failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up." -- Thomas Edison

"Never begin the day until it is finished on paper." -- Jim Rohn

"No matter what age you are, or what your circumstances might be, you are special, and you still have something unique to offer. Your life, because of who you are, has meaning." -- Barbara De Angelis

"Nothing will kill a sale faster than lack of enthusiasm."

"Obstacles cannot crush me. Every obstacle yields to stern resolve. He who is fixed to a star does not change his mind." --

"People are inherently fair and are motivated to pay you back for any nice things you do for them." -- Brian Tracy

"Positive thinking will let you do everything better than negative thinking will." -- Zig Ziglar

"Read an hour every day in your chosen field. This works out to about one book per week, 50 books per year, and will guarantee your success." -- Brian Tracy

"Since the perfect human being has not been discovered, we all need to live with our hang-ups and our idiosyncrasies until they can be ironed out. One of the most important qualities in successful, dynamic living is that of self-acceptance." -- Denis Waitley

"Success is dependent upon the glands--sweat glands."

"The challenge of leadership is to be strong, but not rude; be kind, but not weak; be bold, but not a bully; be thoughtful, but not lazy; be humble, but not timid; be proud, but not arrogant; have humor, but without folly."

"The fault is not in the stars, but in ourselves."

"The finest eloquence is that which gets things done." -- David Lloyd George

"The game of life is the game of boomerangs. Our thoughts, deeds and words return to us
sooner or later, with astounding accuracy."

"The game of life is the game of boomerangs. Our thoughts, deeds and words return to us sooner or later, with astounding accuracy." -- Florence Shinn

"The key to change... is to let go of fear." -- Rosanne Cash

"The most beautiful discovery true friends make is that they can grow separately without
growing apart."

"The path to success is to take massive, determined action."

"The reason why worry kills more people than work is that more people worry than work." -- Robert Frost

"The same God who created Rembrandt created you, and you are as precious in God's sight as Rembrandt or anyone else." -- Zig Ziglar

"The smart ones ask when they don't know. And sometimes, when they do."

"The things I want to know are in books; my best friend is the man who'll get me a book I ain't read." -- Abraham Lincoln

"The trouble with many plans is that they are based on the way things are now. To be successful, your personal plan must focus on what you want, not what you have." -- Nido
Qubein

"The value of a relationship is in direct proportion to the time that you invest in the relationship

"There are seldom, if ever, any hopeless situations, but there are many people who lose hope in the face of some situations."

"There are some things you don't have to know how it works - only that it works. While some people are studying the roots, others are picking the fruit. It just depends on which end of this you want to get in on."

"There is no chance, no destiny, no fate that can circumvent or hinder or control the firm resolve of a determined soul."

"There is no sudden leap to greatness. Your success lies in doing, day by day. Your upward reach comes from working well and carefully." -- Max Steingart

"There is not enough darkness in all the world to put out the light of even one small candle"- Robert Alden

"There is the risk you cannot afford to take, and there is the risk you cannot afford not to take."

"There should be less talk. What do you do then? Take a broom and clean someone's house. That says enough." -- Mother Theresa

"To acquire balance means to achieve that happy medium between the minimum and the maximum that represents your optimum. The minimum is the least you can get by with. The maximum is the most you're capable of. The optimum is the amount or degree of anything that is most favorable toward the ends you desire." -- Nido Qubein

"Truly, it is in darkness that one finds the light, so when we are in sorrow, then this light is nearest of all to us"- Meister Eckhart

"Watch your manner of speech if you wish to develop a peaceful state of mind. Start each day by affirming peaceful, contented and happy attitudes and your days will tend to be pleasant and successful." -- Norman Vincent Peale

"We must learn to help those who deserve it, not just those who need it. Life responds to deserve not need."

"What one skill, if you developed it, could have the greatest positive impact on your career? This is the key to your future." -- Brian Tracy

"What we think or what we believe is, in the end, of little consequence. The only thing of consequence is what we do." -- John Ruskin

"What you want will pull like a magnet. Here's the other part. What for? Purpose is stronger than object. It's the 'What for?' that's even more powerful than the object. And the more you can describe in detail to stir the emotion and the intellect and the spirit and the soul, then the more powerful the 'what for' is."

"When I hear somebody sigh, 'Life is hard,' I am always tempted to ask, 'Compared to what?'" -- Sydney Harris

"When you cannot make up your mind which of two evenly balanced courses of action you should take -- choose the bolder."

"Work joyfully and peacefully, knowing that right thoughts and right efforts will inevitably bring about right results." -- James Allen

"You can have everything in life you want if you will just help enough other people get what they want."

"You have to decide what your highest priorities are and have the courage -- pleasantly, smilingly, non-apologetically -- to say 'no' to other things. And the way you do that is by having a bigger 'yes' burning inside. The enemy of the 'best' is often the 'good.'" -- Stephen Covey
[Another] important factor in overcoming fear-complete trust in God.

“Son, if you’re in something, get in it. If you’re not in it, get out. If you’re not giving your best effort, you’re not being fair to the man you’re working for, and you’re not being fair to yourself.”

A couple cannot survive if one person always makes decisions independent of the other. It takes longer to make a decision if you insist on discussion that produces unity, but it removes the danger of hasty decisions that can cause a couple future problems in their marriage.

A man needs to recognize the tremendous worth of his wife. Women have two incredibly important capacities because of the special way they're created. First, they have an intuitive desire to build meaningful relationships with those in their lives. Not only that, but they also have the capacity to recognize a healthy and intimate relationship. In a practical way, this means that a woman carries inside her a built-in marriage manual!

A true friend is somebody who can make us do what we can. Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803-1882, American poet, essayist)

A vigorous five mile walk will do more good for an unhappy, but otherwise healthy adult than all the medicine and psychology in the world. Paul Dudley White

Accept failure as a normal part of living. View it as part of the process of exploring your world; make a note of its lessons and move on. Tom Hobson

Accept fate, and move on. Don't yield to the seductive pull of self-pity. Acting like a victim threatens your future.

Accept the challenges so that you may feel the exhilaration of victory. George S. Patton (1885-1945, American army general during World War II)

Acceptance of what has happened is the first step to overcoming the consequences of any misfortune. William James (1842-1910, American psychologist, professor, author)

Accomplishment is easiest when we work the hardest, and it is hardest when we work the easiest.

Achievement is not always success, while reputed failure often is. It is honest endeavor, persistent effort to do the best possible under any and all circumstances. Orison Swett Marden (1850-1924, American author, founder of Success Magazine)

Acquire new knowledge whilst thinking over the old, and you may become a teacher of others. Confucius (BC 551-479, Chinese ethical teacher, philosopher)

Acquire the courage to believe in yourself. Many of the things that you have been taught were at one time the radical ideas of individuals who had the courage to believe what their own hearts and minds told them was true, rather than accept the common beliefs of their day. Ching Ning Chu (Chinese-American businesswoman, lecturer, author)

Act as if you were already happy, and that will tend to make you - Dale Carnegie (1888-1955, American trainer, author, "How to Win Friends and Influence People")

Action springs not from thought, but from a readiness for responsibility. Dietrich Bonhoeffer (1906-1945, German Lutheran pastor and theologian)

Actions are the seed of fate deeds grow into destiny. A. L. Linall Jr. (1947-, American editor)

Added benefits of drive through talking: (a) Gives you a chance to fully understand what the other person is saying before you respond. This also prevents tuning out the other person while he or she is talking. (b) Validates the other person and his or her opinions. When you not only listen but also repeat back what someone says, you communicate that the person and his or her opinions are important to you and worth taking seriously.

Adopting the right attitude can convert a negative stress into a positive one. Hans Selye (1907-1982, Canadian physician born in Austria, research on stress)

After you've done a thing the same way for two years, look it over carefully. After five years, look at it with suspicion. And after ten years, throw it away and start all over. Alfred Edward Perlman
Age does not depend upon years, but upon temperament and health. Some men are born old, and some never grow up. Tryon Edwards (1809-1894, American theologian)
Aim above morality. Be not simply good, be good for something. Henry David Thoreau (1817-1862, American essayist, poet, naturalist)
Aim for your star, no matter how far, you must reach high above and touch your life with love, you must never look back, but charge on! Attack! See your goal your star of desire, see it red hot, feel it burning, you must be obsessed with it to make it your true yearning, be ready my friends for when you truly believe it, you will certainly achieve it and by all of God’s universal laws you will always receive it! Bob Smith (American editor, author, founder of Orison Swett Marden Foundation)
All excellence involves discipline and tenacity of purpose. John W. Gardner (1912-2002, American educator, social activist)
All good work is done the way ants do things, little by little. Lafcadio Hearn (1850-1904 Greek writer and translator)
All great deeds and all great thoughts have a ridiculous beginning. Albert Camus (1913-1960, French existential writer)
All life demands struggle. Those who have everything given to them become lazy, selfish, and insensitive to the real values of life. The very striving and hard work that we so constantly try to avoid is the major building block in the person we are today. Ralph Ransom All of man's troubles come from his inability to sit alone, quietly, in a room, for any length of time. Blaise Pascal (1623-1662, French scientist, religious philosopher)
All that you accomplish or fail to accomplish with your life is the direct result of your thoughts. James Allen (1864-1912, British-born American essayist, author, "As A Man Thinketh")
And if I may be so bold to offer my last piece of advice for someone seeking and needing to make changes in their life--if you don't like how things are, change it! You're not a tree. You have the ability to totally transform every area in your life--and it all begins with your very own power of choice.
Anger creates distance, and distance destroys relationships. It causes husbands and wives and parents and children to drift away from each other. Home becomes little more than a dormitory with hostile roommates.
Do not be threatened by the presence of conflict, but use it as a flashing road sign that gets your attention to do whatever is necessary to resolve it at some point.
Do not fear sudden calamity if you are walking uprightly before God. It may be setting the stage for a great victory that will bring praise and honor to your heavenly Father. These battles are training grounds for greater victories to come.
Don't allow guilt to overwhelm you when you notice negative emotional signals flashing. Rather, make a decision to use those signals as a motivation to evaluate and change your focus.
Don't judge each day by the harvest you reap, but by the seeds you plant."
Either you reach a higher point today, or you exercise your strength in order to be able to climb higher tomorrow. Friedrich Nietzsche (1844-1900, German philosopher)
Every man has tremendous value. It's hidden at times, perhaps, but always there -- a worth based on the incredible impact he has on every member of the family through his everyday actions and attitudes. Encourage him to remember how important he is and to make that impact positive and affirming.
Everyone is kneaded out of the same dough, but not baked in the same oven. Yiddish Proverb
Everyone must row with the oars they have. English Proverb (Sayings of British origin)
Great ability develops and reveals itself increasingly with every new assignment." -- Baltasar Gracion
Great things are not done by impulse, but by a series of small things brought together. Vincent Van Gogh (1853-1890, Dutch-born French painter)
He who asks of life nothing but the improvement of his own nature… is less liable than anyone else to miss and waste life.Henri Frederic Amiel (1821-1881, Swiss philosopher, poet, critic)
If you have nothing else to do, look at yourself and see if there isn't something close at hand that you can improve. It may make you wealthy, although it is more likely it will make you happy. George M. Adams (1878-1962, American author)
If you want to sail your ship in a different direction, you must turn one degree at a time." -- Brian Tracy
It is time for us all to stand and cheer for the doer, the achiever -- the one who recognizes the challenges and does something about it. Vince Lombardi (1913-1970, American football coach)
Life has a practice of leaving you unexpectedly, so live it to the fullest while you can
Many people complain that their mate is strangely silent when they do something above and beyond the norm. We need to give praise and thanks to each other for special acts of kindness.
One simple way to honor your wife is by regularly showing that you appreciate her. Specific words of praise always score major points. Flattery is insincere or excessive praise. It's rooted in motives of self-interest; it implies you want something from her. True praise, on the other hand, focuses more on character qualities and is not self-serving.
Others have done it before me. I can, too. Corporal John Faunce (American soldier)
Our greatest joy and satisfaction comes from the act of giving. - Leo Buscaglia
Refrain from confronting your husband's deficiencies in anger. A man has a tendency to fight his conscience, and if you become his conscience, he'll either fight you or flee from you. Whichever route he takes, you've failed in your desire to spend more time with him.
So many men and woman treat each other as objects to be used. They may not verbalize it, but they maintain an inward conviction that their mate should do things that have never been discussed. This is like steadily pouring acid on intimacy.
The key to a close-knit marriage is maximizing the times together and minimizing the times apart. Our culture has a tendency to emphasize "doing your own thing" rather than marital closeness. The more activities you can do as a couple, the better the chances are that you'll develop a deep, lasting relationship.
The pain we feel for others helps us move forward in our personal journey into maturity. Additional benefits include heightened thoughtfulness, gentleness, carefulness, kindness, patience, and self-control.
The Spirit-filled person is one who seeks to do the will of God and lives by faith drawing upon the supernatural resources of God the Holy Spirit for every attitude, motive and desire of his life. - b. bright
The successful apology dissolves anger and humiliation. It shows respect, builds trust, and helps prevent further misunderstanding. A sincere apology makes it much easier to forgive."
The true test of character is... how we behave when we don't know what to do. John Holt (1908-1967, Australian Prime Minister)
The words of your mouth are a creative force. They play a big part in predestining your future. Your words are the architects of your life. The tongue is like a tool. We need to use our tools of the present to build our future we desire.
To associate with other like-minded people in small purposeful groups is for the great majority of men and women a source of profound psychological satisfaction. Aldous Huxley (1894-1963, British author)
Too many of us are not living our dreams because we are living our fears. Les Brown (1945-, American speaker, author, trainer, motivator
true apology depends on the three Rs: regret, responsibility, and remedy.
We cannot allow our errors in judgment, repeated every day, to lead us down the wrong path. We must keep coming back to those basics that make the biggest difference in how our life works out. And then we must make the very choices that will bring life, happiness and joy into our daily lives.
We created our circumstances by our past choices. We have both the ability and the responsibility to make better choices beginning today.
We should instead discuss our roles in marriage and what areas we can encourage each other to do. We should choose areas based on genuine love and not on expectations that have never been discussed.
What we achieve inwardly will change outer reality. Otto Rank (1884-1939, Austrian-born psychoanalyst)
When one has the feeling of dislike for evil, when one feels tranquil, one finds pleasure in listening to good teachings; when one has these feelings and appreciates them, one is free of fear. Buddha (568-488 BC, Indian born, founder of Buddhism)
When you are young and without success, you have only a few friends. Then, later on, when you are rich and famous, you still have a few... if you are lucky. Pablo Picasso (1881-1973, Spanish artist)
Work like you don't need the money. Love like you've never been hurt. Dance like nobody is watching." -- Mark Twain
You always project on the outside how you feel on the inside." -- Denis Waitley
The true test of character is... how we behave when we don't know what to do. John Holt (1908-1967, Australian Prime Minister)
Throw a resourceful person into a river, and he will probably come out with a fish in his hand. Arabian Proverb
Big results require big ambitions. James Champy (American author and international management consultant)
You can do what you want to do, sometimes you can do it even than you thought you could. Jimmy Carter (1924-, American President (39th))
The applause of a single human being is of great consequence. Samuel Johnson (1709-1784, British author)
Abundance is not something we acquire. It is something we tune into. Wayne Dyer (1940-, American psychotherapist, author, lecturer)
Nobody grows old merely by living a number of years. We grow old by deserting our ideals. Samuel Ullman (1840-1924, German-born American educator, writer, poet)
I am not concerned that I am not known, I seek to be worthy to be known. Confucius (BC 551-479, Chinese ethical teacher, philosopher)
All human actions have one or more of these seven causes: chance, nature, compulsions, habit, reason, passion, desire. Aristotle (BC 384-322, Greek philosopher)
I had to pick myself up and get on with it, do it all over again, only even better this time. Sam Walton (1918-1992, American businessman, founder of Wal-mart)
Age is a matter of feeling, not of years. George William Curtis (1824-1892, American journalist)
Measure yourself by your best moments, not by your worst. We are too prone to judge ourselves by our moments of despondency and depression. Robert Johnson
The trouble is, if you don't risk anything, you risk even more. Erica Jong, (1942-, American author)
The superior man understands what is right; the inferior man understands what will sell. Confucius, (BC 551-479, Chinese ethical teacher, philosopher)
Surround yourself with only people who are going to lift you higher. Oprah Winfrey
Never let your failures go to your heart or your successes go to your head.
Attitude is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than what people do or say. It is more important than appearance, giftedness, or skill. Charles Swindoll(1934-, American pastor, author)
If you can command yourself, you can command the world. Chinese Proverb
The worst loneliness is not to be comfortable with yourself. Mark Twain (1835-1910, American humorist, writer)
You create your opportunities by asking for them. Patty Hansen (American author, wife of Mark Victor Hansen)
Associate yourself with men of good quality if you esteem your own reputation. It is better be alone than in bad company. George Washington (1732-1799, American President (1st))
Develop an attitude of gratitude, and give thanks for everything that happens to you, knowing that every step forward is a step toward achieving something bigger and better than your current situation. Brian Tracy(1944-, Canadian-born American trainer, speaker, author, businessman)
Never hurry. Take plenty of exercise. Always be cheerful. Take all the sleep you need. You may expect to be well. James Freeman Clarke (1810-1888, American minister, theologian)
There are no menial jobs, only menial attitudes. William John Bennett (1943-, American federal official)
Champions know that success is inevitable, that there is no suchthing as failure, only feedback. They know that the best way to forecast the future is to create it. Michael J. Gelb (American peak performance expert, author, trainer)
Until you value yourself, you will not value your time. Until you value your time, you will not do anything with it. M. Scott Peck
If you are always dwelling in trouble, change your address. American Proverb

Monday, July 4
Finding Treasures in Trials...
Begin to treasure hunt as soon as possible and as long as you're able. This isn't something you do for just a short time after a trial; you continue doing it until your thinking actually changes and you realize the positive results of your positive thinking. You'll have a victory over your pain when you see the benefits of the event and have feelings of greater love and self-worth.
- From "It Takes Two to Tango" by Gary and Norma Smalley

Honoring Your Wife...
Your wife has "fences" that protect her privacy or need for emotional space. When you respect these boundaries, it shows that you honor her requests.

Most women report that they need to feel emotionally connected to enjoy physical intimacy. They need to feel loved and cherished. They need displays of physical affection, but not necessarily the sex act itself. Men, however, are motivated by the sexual act. They need sexual intimacy and state that physical affection and feeling cherished aren't always necessary for them to feel sexually satisfied. However, men still need affection and cherishing in the overall relationship.
- From "It Takes Two to Tango" by Gary and Norma Smalley
Keeping Alive Romance and Security...
Design togetherness times that incorporate your spouse's interests. These may involve athletic events, musical concerts, museum trips, meals out, fine arts and entertainment, vacations and so on.

Keeping Alive Romance and Security...
When used correctly, the differences in the way men and women respond to sex can complement each other. When not taken into consideration, these differences will tear apart the very fabric of your mutual fulfillment. Decide to stop waiting for things to get better. Only the two of you working together toward love will make the intimate difference. Acquire and practice new attitudes and skills that lead to fulfilling relationships.
Honoring Your Husband...
By diminishing your expectations--by not expecting your husband to provide a level of fulfillment that only God can give--you free your husband of a burden you otherwise force him to bear, and you free yourself from unnecessary disappointment. This doesn't mean ignoring your needs or wants, just getting rid of your time limit and preconceived ideas about when and how those expectations will be met.
Finding Treasures in Trials...
Whenever we're hit with a trial, if we don't allow ourselves to become angry and bitter, we'll become much more empathetic toward others who are experiencing similar problems and more sensitive to their feelings. All these things make us more loving and a better friend.
Honoring Your Husband...
Never belittle your husband's job or the importance of his activities at work. Nothing destroys a man's self-esteem more than to hear his wife cutting down his efforts to support her. And remember that being ignorant of what he does on the job may, in his eyes, be the same as belittling his work.

There are five keys or attitudes that open a closed spirit:
-Become gentle; demonstrate tenderheartedness. -Understand what the other person has gone through, listeningcarefully not only to what is said, but also to how it issaid. What has caused the anger?-Acknowledge that the person is hurting, and admit when you havebeen offensive.-Touch the other person gently.-Ask for forgiveness.
- From "It Takes Two to Tango" by Gary and Norma Smalley
Honoring Your Wife...
Recognize your wife's uniqueness. Because men and women are created differently, we need each other in order to grow toward maturity and balance. A woman may have more intuitive relational skills, but one of the strengths of a man is that he can decide to draw on those skills by asking probing questions like these: On a scale of 1 to 10, 1 being the worst and 10 the best, where do we want our relationship to be? Where is it, in general, today? What could we do in the next several days or weeks to bring our relationship closer to where we want it to be?

Learning to Communicate...
Work to avoid judgmental attitudes like "How stupid!" Oh, no, that would never work" or "You'll never understand!" If you criticize your mate in a condescending manner, you're actually pushing him or her further away from you. No one enjoys being with a disrespectful person (Proverbs 21:19).
- From "It Takes Two to Tango" by Gary and Norma Smalley
Increasing Your Intimacy 100 Percent...
Persistent love--like the dripping of water on a rock--can wear away a person's resistance. It's nearly impossible to stay angry with or emotionally distant from someone who unconditionally loves and values you.

Honoring Your Husband...
Don't feel hurt and condemn your husband because he doesn't speak the "language of relationships" very well. To him, it's like a foreign language. Instead, help him learn to use it as fluently as you do.

Tuesday, July 12
Increasing Your Intimacy 100 Percent...
One way to cherish our mates is to help them become fulfilled as people. We can do this by discovering their personal goals and looking for ways to help them reach those objectives. We all love to know someone is pulling for us.

Resolving Conflict and Dealing with Anger...
Keeping our "heads together" in stressful times is something like a foxhole experience. Those who have endured the horrors of trench warfare often remain friends for life, even though their ordeal may have lasted only a few weeks or months. Why? Because shared experiences, whether pleasant or unpleasant, creates the common ground in which deep-rooted relationships germinate and grow. The greater the intensity of the experience, the greater the potential for bonds of love and intimacy that can bind us to one another in a beautiful relationship called a close-knit family.

Learning to Communicate...
One of the easiest ways to reduce misunderstandings and communication friction is to share only a few thoughts with someone and then allow the person to repeat back what he or she thinks you said, much as would happen when you place an order at a fast food drive-through. This method will also improve your listening skills.


Resolving Conflict and Dealing with Anger...
Because a woman's need for a close, meaningful relationship is often greater than a man's, she is more sensitive to words and actions that can weaken a relationship.

Finding Treasures in Trials...
Allow yourself to grieve over any pain from discomforting experiences. Though I urge you to keep an optimistic outlook when confronted with a negative experience, it's still important to allow yourself to figure out what took place, analyze how it makes you feel, and sense the pain associated with the event. If you don't take this step, you can fall into denial and stuff the feelings so deep that you think you've solved the problem.
Honoring Your Husband...
When your husband disciplines one of your children, avoid the temptation to criticize him in front of the child or defend the child's action that provoked the correction. The first step in developing a calm attitude is to control your tendency to overreact.

Honoring Your Wife...
If you want to be considered great by your wife, start by learning to become a servant. Any time you promote her program or agenda over yours--without grumbling or complaining--you are sacrificially loving her.

Learning to Communicate...
The salt principle is a method of gaining and holding a person's attention by arousing curiosity. It's a way to create a thirst for constructive conversation in which both you and your spouse can learn about each other's needs. First, identify the need or concern to be discussed, and then identify areas of high interest to the other person--areas you can tap into to pique interest.

For HimRomantic Gestures:Write special notes of love and appreciation and hide them in places where your wife will eventually find them (i.e., dresser drawers, books she is reading, the microwave, her jewelry box, etc.).
---Excerpted from "Simply Romantic Ideas: 150 Fun and Creative Ways to Romance Your Wife" edited by Leslie J. Barner. Used with permission. Copyright 1998 by FamilyLife. All rights reserved.
For HimRomantic Gestures:Phone her every day for one week and describe a part of her body that you like, and why; or a spiritual quality she possesses, and how she demonstrates it (each day choosing a different quality or part).

For HimRomantic Gestures:Leave a single rose (of a unique color) with a love note (telling her how special she is to you) where she can find it after you've left for work.
---For HimRomantic Gestures:On Labor Day, clean the house for your wife.
For HimRomantic Gestures:Have a bubble bath and her favorite music or book ready for her after an especially hard day. Give her a massage. Then let her go to sleep.
For HimRomantic Questions:What three ingredients are a must for a romantic evening?
For HimRomantic Questions:What are three things that I say or do that make you feel close to me? What are three things that I say or do that distance you from me?
For HimRomantic Questions:What is the funniest or most embarrassing thing that has ever happened to us (a time when we laughed really hard together)?
For HimRomantic Questions:How are we doing at dealing with conflict in our home? How can we improve?

For HimRomantic Questions:What part of my face do you like most?

For HimRomantic Questions:On a scale of 1 to 10, how would you rate the quality of our time together? Why?

For HimRomantic Questions:What has God been teaching you lately?
For HimRomantic Questions:What kind of friend do you most need me to be?

For HimRomantic Getaways:Take your wife on a surprise trip to a bed and breakfast in a romantic setting. Go on Friday night and enjoy a romantic evening with dinner, soft music, and slow dancing. On Saturday, after a hearty breakfast, spend the day setting and reviewing goals (family, marital, personal, spiritual, business, etc.) and planning your calendars for the next six months. Then on Sunday, worship the Lord and pray together, communicating with the Lord about your plans and goals.
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For HimRomantic Getaways:Make weekend arrangements for your children, pack bags for the two of you, and ask the sitter to arrive at the same time you plan to kidnap your wife. Then, take her to a surprise destination that will include a weekend stay at a nice hotel and tickets to a stage play or concert.

For HimRomantic Getaways:Go back to a place you went when you were newlyweds and stay overnight. Be sure to bring pictures from that time and take a romantic trip down memory lane together.
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For HimRomantic Gift Ideas:Present her a "Journal of My Love for You" – a journal that you fill with dated love letters written to your wife over a period of time.
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Keeping Alive Romance and Security...
How can we turn our negative thoughts to positive ones before they affect our sense of worth and become a hurtful part or our self-image? By developing a grateful attitude. One of the most attractive qualities a person can have is a spirit of gratefulness.

Honoring Your Wife...

A woman misses very little about her environment, which is probably the basis for that mysterious gift some have called intuition--and another reason a man should honor and value his wife.


Honoring Your Husband...
Keep a mental list of little things your husband does that save you time and effort, and thank him for them as often as possible. When he feels he's meeting the "small" as well as the big needs of his family, his self-respect increases, and he will often begin to feel a deeper love for his appreciative wife.


5/25Learning to Communicate...
Other approaches to criticism: Be soft--you can often say the hardest thing to someone, and he or she will receive it if you say it gently. Ask questions--help people discover for themselves what you're trying to say. Use word pictures.


Honoring Your Wife...
Valuing his wife's differences, and even taking the time to be a student of her needs, does not diminish the husband's leadership or responsibility in the family.


Resolving Conflict and Dealing with Anger...
Anger is inevitable in a marriage. Couples who gain skills at "keeping their spirits open" to each other and at dealing with anger in a constructive way take giant strides toward intimacy.


Honoring God...
Ungratefulness can be traced to a failure to find benefits in everything we experience and an unwillingness to trust God to fulfill our deepest needs.


Keeping Alive Romance and Security...
Romance is the process of keeping your courtship alive long after the wedding day.


Honoring Your Wife...
Because a woman's sense of value is so closely tied to the relationships around her, she's often gifted in helping her husband be more sensitive to what's really important beyond the immediate goal.


Resolving Conflict and Dealing with Anger...
Even when crises come from external sources, we must be careful not to close the spirits of those around us. When we are under stress, we can react harshly to our mate and close his or her spirit.


Loving Actions creative ways to show your love and strengthen your marriage
Increasing Your Intimacy 100 Percent...
Many men don't realize it, but more than 80 percent of a woman's need for meaningful touch is nonsexual. Sex does not begin in the bedroom. It actually starts in the everyday acts of truthfulness, consistency, kindness, touching, and talking that build a growing desire in a woman.


Honoring Your Husband...
Your husband needs to be made aware--in creative, loving ways--how to meet your needs. Remember, you're in the process of sharing with him how to love you, and he's in the process of learning. If you're on the same train, don't expect him to get to the destination before you do.


Finding Treasures in Trials...
Disappointed expectations confront us all. How we handle those disappointments will have a powerful impact on the peace and stability of our lives.


Learning to Communicate...
Words have awesome power to build us up or tear us down emotionally. Many people can clearly remember words of praise their parents spoke years ago. Others can remember negative, cutting words--in extraordinary detail.


Honoring God...
Learning what your spouse needs and looking for creative ways to meet those needs unlocks the door of serving. Genuine fulfillment comes through knowing and loving God first, and then through serving others in response to His love.


Honoring Your Husband...
You can motivate your husband to love you by learning to be a courageous, persistent, and patient wife. As a completer and helper, you will need courage to help motive change, gentle persistence to make sure it continues, and patience to wait on the Lord when change is long in coming.


Honoring Your Wife...
When she's expressing frustration, a woman doesn't need her husband's mouth, but his shoulder and arms.- From "It Takes Two to Tango" by Gary and Norma Smalley


Honoring God...
We dishonor God when we live with an attitude of ungratefulness. We know we're ungrateful when we are: constantly comparing what we have with the possessions or positions (or marriages) of others; continually complaining about the way "life" is treating us; always fearful, trying to manipulate others; and so on.


Learning to Communicate...
Communicate humility. At times, some people act as if they know all the answers. It's important that we be willing to learn and grow.
I

ncreasing Your Intimacy 100 Percent...
Keeping your written relationship menu posted in a prominent household location provides a continual reminder of which values and rules you're working toward. It generally takes about 30 days to start a new habit. So if you're regularly working on attaining your goals, it will only take a month before you notice significant changes in your relationship.


Increasing Your Intimacy 100 Percent...
One important way to build intimacy is to give frequent praise. The simplest way to make your spouse feel good is to say, "Well done!"


Resolving Conflict and Dealing with Anger...
Are you still hesitating to knock down old walls of anger and put in a doorway of tenderness to your home--a door that opens to energizing words, gentle touching, and courageous forgiving?


Finding Treasures in Trials...
Life's game plan includes some changes you can anticipate and plan on. But it will also be filled with sneaky speed bumps, strange detours, frustrating dead ends, sudden lane changes, and unscheduled exits. If you anticipate both the major "expected" changes as well as probable unexpected changes, you'll stand a better chance of reaching your destination...together.

It is never too late to be what you might have been.

George Eliot
(1819-1880, British novelist)

============================================

In difficult situations, when hope seems feeble, the boldest
plans are safest.

Titus Livy
(BC 59-17 AD, Roman historian)

============================================

If only every man would make proper use of his strength and do
his utmost, he need never regret his limited ability.

Marcus T. Cicero
(c. 106-43 BC, Roman orator, politician)


Procrastination is the thief of time: Year after year it steals, till all are fled, and to the mercies of a moment leaves the vast
concerns of an eternal scene.

Edward Young
(1683-1765, British poet, dramatist)

============================================.

The season of failure is the best time for sowing the seeds of
success.

Paramahansa Yogananda
(1893-1952, Indian spiritual author, lecturer)

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You have to "be" before you can "do," and do before you can
"have."

Zig Ziglar
(1926-, American sales trainer, author, motivational speaker)

============================================
One man can be a crucial ingredient on a team, but one man cannot
make a team.


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Luck? Sure. But only after long practice and only with the
ability to think under pressure.

Babe Didrikson
(1924-1956, American athlete)

.------------------------------------------------------------
The principle is competing against yourself. It's about self
improvement, about being better than you were the day before.

Steve Young
(1955-, American football player)

Think like a wise man but communicate in the language of the
people.

William Butler Yeats
(1865-1939, Irish poet, playwright)

*******************************
A true friend is the greatest of all blessings, and that which we
take the least care to acquire.

Francois De La Rochefoucauld
(1613-1680, French classical writer)

****************************
Everyone must row with the oars they have.

English Proverb
(Sayings of British origin)

============================================

Avoiding the phrase 'I don’t have time...',
will soon help you to realize
that you do have the time needed
for just about anything
you choose to accomplish in life.
-- Bo Bennett --



Motivation is everything.
You can do the work of two people,
but you can't be two people.
Instead, you have to inspire
the next guy down the line
and get him to inspire his people.
-- Lee Iacocca --



Even though you may want
to move forward in your life,
you may have one foot on the brakes.
In order to be free,
you must learn how to let go.
Release the hurt. Release the fear.
Refuse to entertain your old pain.
The energy it takes to hang onto the past
is holding you back from a new life.
What is it you would let go of today?
-- Mary Manin Morrissey --



When you make a mistake,
don't look back at it long.
Take the reason of the thing into your mind
and then look forward.
Mistakes are lessons of wisdom.
The past cannot be changed.
The future is yet in your power.
-- Hugh White --



All your life you are told
the things you cannot do.
All your life they will say
you're not good enough
or strong enough or talented enough.
They will say you're the wrong height
or the wrong weight or the wrong type
to play this or be this or achieve this.
They will tell you no, a thousand times no,
until all the no's become meaningless.
All your life they will tell you no,
quite firmly and very quickly.
And you will tell them yes.
-- Nike Ad --

creative ways to show your love and strengthen your marriage

Increasing Your Intimacy 100 Percent...

"A marriage can't be sustained with romance alone. But added to security,
meaningful communication, and meaningful touch, it can be a tremendous source
of energy and growth."

- From "It Takes Two to Tango" by Gary and Norma Smalley



Keeping Alive Romance and Security...

"A gardener--nurturer--has a responsibility not only to find out what's wrong
with a plant, but also to do whatever is necessary to nurse it back to health.
In Ephesians 5:21-33, we see this picture as a role of the husband."
**************

Learning to Communicate...

"Healthy communication is the lifeblood of love. A relationship will only be
as good as its communication
**************

"Every enduring marriage involves an unconditional commitment to an imperfect
person--your spouse."

- From "It Takes Two to Tango" by Gary and Norma Small
------------------

Resolving Conflict and Dealing with Anger...

"There's no way to overcome our weaknesses without knowing our strengths.
Why? Almost without exception, our weaknesses are a reflection of our
strengths being pushed to an extreme."
****************************

Increasing Your Intimacy 100 Percent...

"Wise husbands and wives will take time to practice small acts of touching:
Holding hands in a walk through the mall, stopping to rub your mate's shoulders
for a moment, taking the time to gently hold your spouse at the door on your
way out. These small but important acts can work like 'superbloom' to a plant
and green out a relationship."
***************************

Keeping Alive Romance and Security...

"Every enduring marriage involves an unconditional commitment to an imperfect
person--your spouse."

----------------------

Finding Treasures in Trials...

"God's best and highest will is for us to love (value) Him with all our hearts,
and to love (value) others as ourselves. Do you realize you have everything
you need to fulfill God's will and experience His best in your life?"

--------------
Honoring Your Wife...

"Wives need consistent proof of change over a period of time in at least three
areas before they will believe their husband's commitment: careful listening
without justification or argument, quickness to admit error, and patience with
her doubts."

====================
Honoring Your Husband...

"Many men will do almost anything to gain the admiration of others. They will
literally search for someone to love and respect them. Make sure that someone
is you, their wife, and not someone else."

---------------------

Learning to Communicate...

"People who consistently use word pictures to point out the faults of others
are misusing this communication method. They may make you feel terrible with
their words and somehow convince you it's your fault. Word pictures are to be
used to covey how you feel, not to attack the other person."

----------------------

Resolving Conflict and Dealing with Anger...

"The most insecure people are those who can't distance themselves from their
loved ones enough to discipline them. Loving discipline may put a temporary
emotional distance between people, but if we balance that hard-side correction
with softness, we won't lose love. If anything, we'll enrich it."

---------------------

Increasing Your Intimacy 100 Percent...

"In a nurturing and healthy relationship, you perceive that your ideas and
insights are valuable, and you learn how to negotiate and listen to the other
person's views. You hear things like 'What a great idea!' 'What do you think
about this?' and 'Your opinion means so much to me.'"
--------------------------

Honoring Your Wife...

"Your goal should be to become a genuine, loving, and tender husband who does
not lecture. Lectures during stressful times only create more stress."

----------------------------

Finding Treasures in Trials...

"Sometimes the treasure is coated with corrosion, but if we do some scraping,
we begin to see its value. Thanksgiving expresses our faith that God can,
indeed, bring treasures out of trials, and faith adds muscle to the scraping
process, even in the worst of trials."
------------------------------

Honoring God...

"Whatever your goals and ambitions for improving your marriage, you must learn
the necessary skills, even though it may take years. Don't limit yourself and
God by dwelling on what you already know and can do."

---------------------

Honoring God...

"Many husbands and wives put their hopes for fulfillment in people or in
places, whether homes or vacation spots. To those thirsting for fulfillment,
these things look like a quenching pool of water. Yet once they reach them,
they find only the sand of a mirage. Only Christ gives everlasting
satisfaction."

*********************
Honoring Your Husband...

"If you truly expect to have meaningful communication with your husband, you
have to activate the right side of his brain so he can understand your
feelings. One of the best ways to do this is with a word picture."

**********************

Resolving Conflict and Dealing with Anger...

"How destructive bottled-up resentment can be! Anger has many tragic
consequences in a marriage. It creates distance and pushes us into darkness.
It can tie our emotions and decisions into knots."

**************************

Increasing Your Intimacy 100 Percent...

"When your spouse seeks to honor you, you're listened to and encouraged to
participate in discussions and decisions. You hear things like 'What did you
say?' 'You always know the right thing to say.' or 'Let's talk about this.'"

----------------------

Keeping Alive Romance and Security...

"A character of honesty and serving must be deep-rooted to survive; it reaches
way down into the soil of consistent living. It isn't a short-term change of
behavior that makes an impression on your mate; it's a life."

--------------------

Finding Treasures in Trials...

"Whenever I feel fear or worry, I thank the Lord for the feeling, then test the
following six reasons until I understand the source: the future, my reputation,
money, possessions, time, or health. After that, I submit the concern to
Him."
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